he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
