I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it was like his penis was on wheels.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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