it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize