You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
