I feel great
I just peed on a car
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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