Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
