does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
