why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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