she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
