So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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