I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
