If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
