The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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