Quick, to the slutcave!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
