So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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