I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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