you have to choose: penises or morals?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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