I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
