I just made out with a guy for $7.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
