Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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