you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
