Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
