I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm passing your future prison.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
