Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
