The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
