i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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