good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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