We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dicks are not precious.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
