Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
