I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
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Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
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You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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