yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
