whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
