Are we in a gay sports bar?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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