So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We're not piercing ourselves today.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
