Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize