we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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