Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I got inside last night via doggy door
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
