She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
