it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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