i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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