i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
