Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
