She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
