There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
