i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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