Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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