They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
