My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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