No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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