I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
