I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
