I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
