dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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