He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
