at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
