? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she smelled like a LAN party
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
