I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
