I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
