she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
