You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
