Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
