CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
