Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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