I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Drunk is not a location!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Damn victory sex feels great
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
