haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it glows. i had to have it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had sex on a roof
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
