We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my shit smells like andre
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
