is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
