he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
