morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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