How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize