Quick, to the slutcave!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
