i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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